Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Yippee! My Dog Is Not Retarded!

Today I read a ridiculously hilarious post by Allie over at Hyperbole and a Half about her retarded dog.  If you haven't read today's post yet, you need to do that now so you will understand my post.  She had over 500 comments last I saw!

These are my three precious dogs.
From right to left: Lucy, a beagle; Teddy, a shihtzu; and Hannah, the brittany spaniel.  Notice Hannah is the only one looking off at something shiny while the other two look at the camera.

Hannah does hilarious things that no one can explain, and we always joke that she's "special."  
She talks to us in long, drawn out sounds that sound like Chewbacca from Star Wars like she's having a conversation. 
She licks the arm of the couch for hours. 
 She chews on her own nails and eats them.  She's gangly, and if we put any of her feet or tail up to her mouth, she'll start chewing on them.  
She's a riot.  Her favorite toy is a deflated soccer ball that I got at a yard sale for $0.50.  No, she doesn't want you to throw it.  She wants to play tug of war with it. Or do a somersault with it in her mouth.  She's got what we call "giraffe neck" because her head and neck are the same size and she can get her head under/around/into practically anything!  

And the hubs says she needs to be in Lickaholics Anonymous.  If you let her, she will lick your face until...well she won't stop.  She will lick inside your nose.  She will pry her way and lick inside your mouth. She will lick your ears, inside your ears, and she chews on my husband's foot callouses.  
Needless to say, she does not lick my face.  Ew.

I googled and finally found the Dog IQ Test Allie was talking about.

Test 1: Let the dog smell the treat, put it under a can, and encourage it to get the treat.  The first part, sadly, does not have a zero score.  She looked at me, walked around the cup a bit, looked at me, and sat down.  I let Teddy at it and he had that cup knocked over in 1.5 seconds flat, lol.
Score: 1

Test 2: Put a blanket over the dog and time how long it takes to get out.  We had to do this test three times.  The first time, she thought she was in trouble and rolled over under the blanket to show us her belly.  The second time, she simply laid down and didn't move.  The third time, she was out in 21 seconds, so we went with that one.
Score: 3

Test 3: Sit 2 meters away and smile at your dog.  See if it comes to you.  When I had my husband near her and me doing the smiling, she sat there. She looked at me.  She looked at the other dogs.  She laid down. *facepalm*  We re-did the test with my husband doing the smiling, and she went to him in 3 seconds.  My dog hates me.
Score: 5. Or 0. Depends who you ask.

Test 4: Same as test 1, but cover the food with a hand towel.  She did really well on this one.  It only took her 41 seconds, lol. 
Score: 4

Test 5: Put a treat in a place the dog has to use its paws to get it.  We had to re-do this test
four times because of her crazy giraffe neck.  When I finally placed it under the couch out of reach of her nose, it took her 1 min 18 sec.
Score: 4

Test 6: Call random words, see if the dog comes. Then call the dog's name and see if it comes. She came to us eventually, after much calling of her name and gesturing.  I wanted to give her a 1, but the test said 2. Pft.
Score: 2

Results: If my husband was administering the test, she got "
Your dog is smart, but won't go to Harvard."  If I was administering, and I was, cheater, she got "Your dog is not too bright, but is most likely very cute."  That's like asking if a blind date is attractive, and they say, "They have a good personality!" 

So I guess my dog is not retarded.  That doesn't mean she doesn't act like it!


Maria@BubblegumandDuctTape said...

oh my goodness! I didn't know there were such tests or that dogs could be mentally challenged too, lol. Your post was very funny, and she's such a cutie. Thanks for stopping by.

Amy said...

Typical behavior - the Mister gets all the good pet behavior, and what do we get??? Derrr! I think it's because they see us as their servants because we shop for them, prepare their food, clean up their messes, bathe them. Uh Oh, I think we might be the servants... dog's best friend. I missed something important at puppy obedience class, I think...

Jenny Lou Who said...

All 3 of my dogs were shelter dogs, adopted when they were adults, so puppy obedience classes weren't an option for us. We just do our best, motivate with food, and enjoy the results.

Annie, take heart: My ShihTzu LUUuuuuuurrrrvvves me. He follows me around the house and won't let me out of his sight. He makes up for Hannah being such a Daddy's girl.

Post a Comment