Monday, October 4, 2010

It's Dangerous Being Me

If I haven't lost all of my readers, I'd like to share with you why I haven't been writing.  I know, excuses, excuses.  But this is my blog, and I'm gonna whine! lol.

I fully believe the devil has it out for me.  I have had a major car accident, totaling the car, for every car I've ever owned.  And I've never hit anyone.  However, I've never had any serious injuries.  So if the devil has it out for me, I fully believe that God has it "in" for me.  I don't know about guardian angels or whatever, but I think the hand of God protects me each time the devil causes one of my major accidents.  I'm going to tell you the stories, and show what pictures I have.  Some I don't have any of, but I will try to do my best.

Let's start at the beginning.

My very first car, when I was 16 (2000), was a 1997 Chevrolet Corsica.  I loved that car. So sturdy and safe, it always kept me safe.  In May 2002, I was driving down a busy road in light rain.  A man pulled out of the K-Mart parking lot and hit me broadside on the passenger side, between the two doors.  I don't have a photo of that one, but this photo from Google Images shows almost exactly the damage.
Fortunately, none of the windows busted out like shown in the picture.  My car was totaled, but I suffered no medical maladies (other than a concussion).  I was 18 years old.

My next car was a 2002 Dodge Neon, brand-new off the lot. I know, I know, it was a stupid idea to get a brand new car.  But I could afford it with my full time job, and I loved it.  I drove it from Iowa (where I lived) to Florida (where my mom lived) for a road trip in June 2003, taking my then boyfriend with me.  While we were visiting, we were in a horrible accident. 

I was driving on the far left lane of a 3 lane highway.  It was night time, and being Florida, there was sand all over the road.  I tried to merge into the center lane.  I noticed at the last second another driver trying to merge into the center lane from the far right.  I jerked the wheel to avoid hitting that person, and that's where it went all wrong.  The sand caused the car to sort of hydroplane, and we spun 360 degrees on the highway blacktop before plummeting into the 20 foot deep median ditch.  Once in the ditch, the car flipped twice end over end, landing on the roof, the tires, the roof, the tires, and finally came to rest with the nose of the car in the sand.  

I had been following a friend of mine, and when she saw my car flipping in her rear view mirror, she thought I was dead. She pulled over and threw up.  Ambulances were called, my parents were called, and my younger brother hiked a mile back to reclaim the contents of my purse, scattered when the rear window shattered.  My neck hurt, so I was taken by ambulance to the hospital, but miraculously was fine.  I only had a "stinger," as they call it in football, from the ground smashing my head as the car was overturned.
I have better pictures of the car somewhere, but I'd have to scan them.  This one was sent to me by my ex, who was in the car with me at the time, and whom you see here posing with the remnants of my car.  He later referred to the accident as "that one time you almost killed me."  Yeah, that was bullshit and he's not on my nice list. Concussion #2. June 2003. I was 19 years old.

On to the next.  I got a 2000 Ford Taurus. I drove it for a while with good luck, despite a guy rear-ending me and poking a hole in the fiberglass of the bumper.  That hardly qualified as a true auto collision, in my experience.  But as I was preparing another trip to see my mother, I drove literally 45 miles from my home and the transmission exploded.  While I was going 65 mph.  On a highway.  In 100 degree heat.  I don't have a picture of that one, either, but this is pretty much what it looked like, only red (courtesy of Google Images).
Apparently this has happened to a lot of Ford Taurus owners, and coincidentally happened to my uncle about a month later.  His car was much worse, however, as it was completely consumed by engine fire.  I was fortunate enough to be able to coast to a stop on an off-ramp, and the engine fire immediately went out.  May 2005.  I was 21 years old.

MORE you say? Yes. Much more.  The next car was a 2003 Nissan Sentra.  It wasn't pretty but it was a good car.  I had that one for a while, with road trips never being a problem.  I named it Frank, lol.  It even survived being driven up onto a high curb by an ex boyfriend (concussion #3). When I was student teaching, I was assigned to a school in the country about 35 miles away from my city.  One day in April 2007, a blizzard came upon me as I was driving to my student teaching placement.  For those of you who have never student taught, you cannot be late. Or miss any days. You might not graduate. I'm serious.  So off I went, and I drove 25 mph in a 55 zone to be extra careful.  My car hit a patch of ice on the back country road, and voila:
I missed the electric transformer by inches. BTW, electricity + blizzard + leaky fuel oil = bad situation for everyone.  I was suffered a concussion (#4) and mild frostbite on my fingertips, because I was in shock and forgot to get my gloves when I left the car.  Hey, at least had enough wits to leave a car that was standing in slush next to an electric box leaking fuel.  
Here are some closer shots of the damage to the car.
April 2007.  I was 23.
By now, you're probably thinking, more? How much bad luck can a person have?? I'll tell you. I don't believe it's bad luck.  I believe it is the devil trying to kill me, and God's hand saving me each time.

The next car was a 1992 Buick Park Avenue.  That car was totaled because of something completely unrelated to accidents - the "timing chain" (whatever the f that is) among other things.  When we got rid of that car, the body was perfect, so there's no use in showing you a picture.  January 2008.  I was 24.

Now my current car.  A 1999 Chevrolet Cavalier. It had problems from the start.  Nevertheless, it got me from A to B, and I was grateful.  On Christmas Eve, 2009, I was working at a book store in Council Bluffs, Iowa.  Some of you may remember the horrendous blizzard that day. I do.  As it got darker and darker I kept reminding my supervisor that I lived in the country 30 miles away, and I needed to go.  He refused.  I got out of there at 6:00pm, just like everyone else.  I crept along that highway.  I was going maybe 15 mph, maybe 10, in a 70 zone.  This time, the wind was so strong that it lifted and rolled my car into the median. The friggen wind. No joke.  The car rolled over, side over side, and came to rest like this:
The other side was completely buried.
The paramedics came and got me out of the car, blizzard swirling all around us.  Some kind stranger offered to drive me home, and honestly, I have no idea why I let him, but it ended in my husband getting a job, lol.  All that snow must have served as a buffer, because the car suffered absolutely no damage, other than the front wheels needing realigned.  Me? Concussion #6.  (Concussion #5 happened earlier that week when a sign holder fell on my head at that stupid book store.)  12/24/09.  Merry Christmas.  At least it got us out of having to go to my in-laws' for Christmas.  I was 26.

We kept the same car.  This is a horrible economy, the car was paid off, it still ran, and we were losing our house.  So we moved to Kansas City in it, where we now live. Kansas City, not the car. Snort.  Anyways, last week on Wednesday morning, I was turning left at a green light when out of nowhere BAM! It was pitch black out, so I didn't even know what had happened until a guy ran over, opened my car door, and told me, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I fell asleep!" It was a broadside collision on the driver's side, and although it was not the worst collision or accident I've ever had, it left a lot of damage.   
Both airbags deployed, 
the dash board was shifted to the left, and so the passenger side door won't open, 
the hood was crumpled, 
the windshield was shattered (but intact, thank God).  
The force of the car hitting me was so great that my covered coffee exploded all over the passenger window. 

It was the worst damage to me of any accident. I got air bag burns on my arm, leg, and face, coughed up a lung, and now I have burning nerve damage in my face. 
 Oh yeah, and concussion #7.  September 2010. I am 27.

Did I mention I haven't gotten a ticket since I ran a yield sign when I was 16?

The car feels like a death trap.  Thank God it is still drivable, because we have absolutely no money to get another one.  I had to put packing tape and duct tape all over it so I can still get to work.  My attorney said it would take 6-8 months for the other guy's insurance to pay on the damage.  When I think of driving this car for that much longer, it makes me queasy.  

If you live in the Greater Kansas City Area, please help me get my husband a job so I don't have to drive this nightmare.


Hubs took the car to get an estimate on "repair" (psh like it would be worth repairing), but anyway, we had to get one, and it came to $9066.  LMAO.  The blue book value of the car is only $3000 or something.  

Now, the dilemma: ask the guy's insurance company to pay for the car so I can get a new one pronto, or hire the lawyer my uncle found for me so I can possibly get medical and pain and suffering along with it, but that would be 6-12 months from now.  I vote pronto car, because I basically have a panic attack every time I get in the thing, and I have to drive a lot for my job.  So much that, for example, last month my mileage reimbursement was $196.00.  Life: please get better. Love, me.


Anonymous Witch said...

OH MY GOD WOMAN!! I have been SO worried about you! Why haven't you been texting to let me know you are alright?!!!!!

Also, I think you might be cursed when it comes to cars. Just sayin'. I am crossing my fingers and working witchy mojo to hopefully help your husband get a badass awesomesauce job so he can buy you a nice, undamaged car that is so strong you will be safe in it. Like maybe an Element? Those are huge. And square. And I think they have 4 wheel drive?

Hang in there!! Loves. And I still check your blog all the time, whenever I am near an internet, which lately (as you can see via my own blog) has been sporadic. Love, love, love!

Jenny Lou Who said...

Oh AW. I love you. I'm sorry I'm a terrible friend and haven't been texting or anything. I'm barely keeping it together. It's gotta get better, right? Thanks for the witchy mojo.

Danita @ Finding My Spark said...

OMG Jenny! I have been worried about you and thought you ran away with David Boreanaz and was cursing you for being luckier than me... but DAYUM girl... that's some hella bad luck. Or good. One of those.

Jenny Lou Who said...

Danita, funny you should mention David. He says hi.

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