Since starting my blog, I have made a few really good friends. Really nutty friends, but hey, I'm super duper nutty with chocolate chips, so we get along just fine! One of those new bloggy buddies is Danita Sparks from Finding My Spark. She even has a section urging her readers to stalk me. Because of this lady I have been saying She is hilarious and you must check out her blog. She has an awesome business called Karma Charms that sells doggie products. You all know how much I love that. Sadly, that one is going to be gone soon. So she also has an Etsy store, CookieGuru, selling her organic dog treats. Danita also struggles with health issues, like me, so she's one amazing lady!
We decided to exchange postcards, and so the other day, July 6th, 2010, I got this happy guy in the mail:
Yes, that's right. It's a penguin. On a beach. Holding a tray of mixed drinks.
Here's the back:
That's right, folks, a kitten sticker. Didn't I tell you she just gets me?
Anyway, she sent me an email and was like, "Watch your mailbox." It was a nice email, but I decided to make it super creepy and be afraid of a mail bomb. But then I thought she just meant the postcard. [I get really REALLY excited when I get mail that isn't bills or junk.] And she said, "No, that's not it." Are you kidding??? More mail? This woman loves me. Or something.
So today I marched out to my mailbox (thankfully not attached to my house in case of bombing), and found this little gem:
Ooo! OOO! Mail in a box! For meeee!
But then I was like, "It's from North Carolina. I don't know anyone in North Carolina. Oh who cares IT'S MAAAAAILLL!"
Lucy was equally excited. That's when I began to suspect my bloggy friend had done something amazing.
LOOK! She sent me some of her grain-free (since I'm gluten-free) dog treats! And a little packet of something else.
Actually, since the whole package is printed in some other language, I have no idea what's in there (other than the fact that it must be Vanilla). She lives in Spain, but that is not Spanish.
I decided to give one of these Tomato Herb cookies to my doggies right away. Here is Lucy giving me the death glare because I made her sit before giving her the treat.
NOM NOM NOM
I gave one to Hannah, but then Lucy sort of went crazy and started barking and scared Hannah out of the room. So no photo. You guys are sick of seeing that dog anyway, aren't you?
Here is Teddy waiting for his treat a good distance away from Lucy. He looks like the Godfather in this pic, huh? I promise, he's supercute in person.
~*NOM NOM NOM NOM*~
**Edit:**
I went to the website on the packet of mystery vanilla and, through the miracle of google translator, discovered it's vanilla-flavored sugar. So, not an explosive, but still I'm wondering why Sparks' mama thought I needed this with my dog biscuits. Hmmm...
By the way, you can *totally* use these pics for your world-wide ad campaign that will result from the revenues you will get from my massive reader base (like 8 people, lol) buying up all your products. You're welcome. You can pay me in vanilla sugar.
***EDIT 2:***
I stuck my hand in the bag today to give Hannah a treat to bribe her to come back in the house, and look what I found:
***EDIT 2:***
I stuck my hand in the bag today to give Hannah a treat to bribe her to come back in the house, and look what I found:
Could it be? Banana strawberry sample? It was inside the bag of dog treats.
16 comments:
I'm glad the pups liked their nummies! Gluten free treats for gluten free households :) I have NO IDEA what that other thing is, except that I can read German, what having lived there and all that, and it's vanilla sugar but I have NO IDEA how it got in the box. I employ my mom to package up and ship out my fabulous cookies (yes, they are that awesome and no, I'm not conceited) so that's why they came from North Carolina.... but the German vanilla stuff has me thrown for a loop so I emailed her to ask her WTF.
Either that, or it's a mail bomb cleverly disguised as vanilla.
And I'mma go stab somebody at the post office for stamping the FRONT of the postcard. Who the fuck does that?! Don't they know the FRONT is the most important part?????
I knew you said you were from NC, so I figured some relative or business associate or pimp sent them. But really you have no idea about the vanilla stuff? OMG ROFL. Your mother wants me to die.
If you look at the postcard's back, they stamped the front AND the back. And if you go stabbing people at the post office in Spain, does that still make you Postal? hehe. If you're going to stab them for anything, stab them for delivering to you only one of two postcards I mailed on THE VERY SAME EFFING DAY. From the same mailbox outside my house.
I'll try to find out if that shit's gluten free. Don't eat it until you hear back from me. Sparkmom MAY not have put that in there - it may be the post office fucking with you. Where would Sparkmom even GET German vanilla sugar??
OK so I did manage to confirm that it's gluten free and therefore not an attempt on Sparkmom's part to kill you (at least not intentionally). Safe to use!
Oh shit Jenny. Sparkmom says she didn't use ANY tape on the box at all... and she has no idea how that vanilla sugar got there but that she didn't put it in there. If I were you I'd toss that shit, it might be Anthrax!
Yeah, the box definitely had tape on it. And the bag of dog biscuits was partially open. The USPS stole my Banana treats! Grrr!
Love that death glare.
The whole story about tape where there was no tape, and things added to packages is very creepy.
All I can think is more than one package was opened and stuff was exchanged?
Fuckers. I'd report it as mail tampering and in the meantime, Teddy, Lucy and Hannah should watch the mailbox more carefully - Banana cookies might arrive any day!!
How on earth does one report "mail tampering?"
Contact the post office I suppose. There's also a link on the USPS website but I'd have to dig it up and it's 4am therefore I am too lazy.
INSIDE the big bag? Those are Banana Carrot Cake (also gluten free) but um those were separate in the original package so yes indeed - someone opened your goodies and dicked around with them. *stabstabstab*
I wonder if they took any cookies from the big bag. Too late to weigh it now I guess. Assholes. Also? Take a look at the pic of the bag. You can totally see the sample baggie inside in that first pic. ARGGGGHHHHHHH
The 2 square cookies in the little ziploc baggie with the pawprint sticker are grain-free banana carrot cake. But I didn't put them inside the bag of Tomato & Herb cookies. They were in the box, not the bag. Freaks me out that someone tampered with and mixed things around and added stuff. So sorry this happened. Sparksmom
Haha I do see it, way to make me feel like a knob Danita. LOL. Shoot me, I was so excited about getting them that I didn't even look inside the big bag.
Sparkmom, don't be horrified! This mail tampering is creepy, but you guys are awesome for sending these to me! Embrace the gratitude!
But I am horrified! This is the first time I've had a package tampered with and have shipped hundreds of things for Danita. Tis freaky. ;(
Glad you have a sense of humor about this whole thing. Hugs, Dee
Don't worry Dee, I filed a complaint at the USPS website. That'll teach them. Or make them deliver ALL my mail jacked up. One of those.
I complained to the post office about getting this other woman's mail, like, ALL THE TIME and she didn't even live on my road.. but we have the same street number and both of our roads start with the letter S. (my road has 4 letters in it, and hers has 7, but apparently they don't read at the post office) So, they "fixed" it by sorting my mail somehow special and then putting a rubber band around it to show that they were especially careful about my mail..
So, now I get that lady's mail INSIDE the rubber band. Zheesh
LMAO @ Annie. When I get other people's mail I just write "DOES NOT LIVE HERE" in big obnoxious purple letters and send it back to the post office. Maybe the creating more work for them by having to figure out where it actually goes makes them think about it harder. Or something.
Actually, this whole fiasco has me thinking about the Men In Black 2 scene with the alien in the box 'sorting' the mail at top speed. Giggle.
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